Mother Theresa

Many have asked me if I had heard about publication of Mother Theresa's Journals wherein she expressed having experienced a long term void in her experience of God. I heard about this on NPR this past Friday as I was driving to pick up Will from school. If you'd like to listen to the NPR broadcast yourself you can click on this link (or cut and paste it to your browser) and listen to the commentary of a Jesuit priest who read her journals and tried to make some sense of them.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=13903581

He interprets her journals not as showing that she had doubts about the existence of God but that there were large portions of her life where she didn't EXPERIENCE the presence of God like she desired to. One would think that as servant oriented as she was there would be times of incredible grace where her faith would be reaffirmed by what John Wesley called being "gently warmed."

In actuality, she reaffirms to me the struggle of ministry.So often we minister in complete darkness not knowing if what we do or say has any effect on people's lives. We don't always know that we are even ministering as God wants us to minister. We just keep pressing on in faith.

I recognize her struggle as often I've wondered if I'm doing ministry for the right reasons or with the right spirit or using the right words or making the appropriate challenges or even being open to the Spirit like I'd like to. Ministry is full of seasons of confidence and doubt - times when you see the fruits of the spirit manifest in people's lives and then times when the fruit tree appears to wither and die. Ministry (indeed all Christian life) is not always easy.

Anyone who does ministry as a "calling" will have times of what has been called the "dark night of the soul". I find that during these times you call out to God more and often only hear silence in return. Yes, it's frustrating. But even in that season, there is quiet confirmation when we do kingdom work that God looks upon it and proclaims it "good."

I have no doubt that Mother Theresa experienced that sort of confirmation in her life. I know that I do - especially during those times of incredible brokenness when I am literally at the end of my intelligence and wisdom and skill and all I can do is raise my hands in the air and say "I am yours God." Often in worship I can't constrain the tears - tears recognizing my own inadequacy to do the task I've been called to do but also tears of joy that God in HIS power has given me what I need for today - my "daily bread."

For those who want to point at Mother Theresa and say "Aha! You see! Even a "saint" had doubts!" - they completely miss the point of our faith. It's especially in the times of our "dark night" where God is quietly leading us to water. These times increase rather than decrease our dependence on God. It's our own short-sightedness at times that causes us to miss the oasis for the desert.

Real Wisdom!

I believe in a good education and in being well read. The great writer and literary critic, Calvin Trillin, once authored a book entitled "The Moral Obligation to be Intelligent." I love that title! It says that we don't have the luxury to stick our heads in the sand and not be acquainted with the facts and processes in the world around us. And especially as we vote for new leaders this coming year and have an opportunity to set a course for this country for the next decade our obligation to be intelligent - to have our wits about us and be informed - becomes all the more apparent.

It was interesting then for me as I'm teaching a class on 1 Corinthians at First Christian Alamo to come across the following passage by the hand of the apostle Paul. In light of what I just said, it really has made me "think."

1Co 1:20 Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? 21 For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. 22 Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, 23 but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, 24 but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25 For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength.

Paul, of course, was writing his letter to a church in one of the most educated and sophisticated cities of his day. Not only was Corinth a powerful port city which brought in trade from all over the Mediterannean world, it was a place where some of the world's best and brightest gathered for discussion of the important philosophical issues of Paul's day.

For the "discussion" of those philosophical issues is the key point. Paul's Corinth, like Athens, was a city that enjoyed its discussion of philosophy and learning while people continued to experience pain and brokenness, social division, and overall hopelessness.

I believe with Trillin that we have a moral obligation to be intelligent. But the wisdom that fulfills that obligation doesn't come from an excess of human learning. At the root of our experience of life is a "hidden wisdom" Paul says, that the rulers of the world have been missing since time began. What is that "hidden wisdom?"

For Paul it is centered in "Christ crucified!"

Now imagine being a sophisticated, intelligent resident of the city of Corinth and someone comes to your city proclaming that real life lived to the fullest comes from believing in the torture and death and presumed resurrection of a Palestinian Jewish teacher. A story like that would be pereceived as silly, as "foolish!" It would run completely counter to the commonly held ideas of how Greek or Roman gods operate in the world because to be crucified isn't a sign of strength - something of incredible importance to the Roman Empire - but is a sign of defeat and weakness!

But that is precisely Paul's point, isn't it? That life doesn't come from being the most powerful, the most worldly wise, the most worldly influential, but comes in the form of humility and weakness, in the form of a suffering servant.

Christians today find themselves not too far removed from Paul's audience. We still value many of the same things. Wealth. Status. Influence. Power. We give positions of leadership to people who have achieved success in the world of business. And there is nothing wrong with recognizing hard work, discipline, and dedication to one's vocation and calling. But! The source of the Christian's influence doesn't originate in these things, but in the silly, foolish, outlandish notion of the crucified Christ. We are indeed the legacy of that suffering servant. We are suffering servants ourselves.

The disciples once asked Jesus who among them would be greatest in the kingdom of God! Jesus knew what they were asking. They wanted to know who would have the most status, the most honor, be recognized as having the most authority. As he was wont to do, Jesus took their idea of honor and subverted it and said, "The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted." (Matthew 23:11-12)

And so Paul in Corinthians tells this church that if they want find life and live life to the fullest they must first become servants to each other rather than seekers and discussers of worldly wisdom.

We do indeed have a "moral obligation to be intelligent." But our intelligence and our wisdom is a wisdom not of this world. Our wisdom was revealed to us in the life, death, and resurrection of God's only son. And so the wisdom by which we live our lives mirrors that Godly wisdom and it is through that wisdom that we experience Spirit-filled life!

Speaking the Truth in Love

Jackson, TN is located in the "Bible Belt South" known for a Baptist church on every corner, a Methodist church on every other corner and the Church of Christ in between. It's also known for Rockabilly music, pork barbecue, good fried chicken, and fresh tomatoes from a neighbor's garden or farm.

It's a place where people know each other's names and in many cases their family histories. When there was conflict between people or families or even churches, well, people just got up and went somewhere else. There's plenty of open land in the Bible Belt for people to do whatever they please and go wherever they please. With all of the choices we can make about with whom we will associate comes also the freedom NOT to be in any committed or serious relationship. If the relationship becomes awkward or uncomfortable or challenging it has become for us very easy to simply "move on."

So what's the alternative for those who want to be followers of Jesus - the same Jesus who prayed that "they may all be one" in John 17?

As disciples of Jesus Christ we are taught in scripture to "speak the truth in love."

Paul writes, Eph 4:14 Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. 15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

Stepping up to adulthood in our faith means that we begin speaking truth to each other in love. In fact, the only way that we ever grow in anything we do is to have truth reflected back us in some way. Social scientists refer to this as a "feedback loop" without which we are unable to learn and progress in our thinking, education, work, mission, anything. To develop ourselves further toward goals we have set, we have to have feedback. If I am trying to lose thirty pounds, my feedback would come from the ever ominous scale. If I am trying to increase my cardio-vascular strength my feedback comes from the heart monitor I wear or the mile meter on the display of the exercise bicycle or treadmill. If I want to be a better employee I desire positive feedback from my boss telling me what I am doing well or how I might improve in my work. Feedback is essential to any kind of positive growth.

Good feedback usually comes in the form of encouragement and challenge and support. Poor feedback usually comes in the form of criticism and belittling and browbeating. Who hasn't had the experience of the boss who constantly rode your back about a flaw so much so that you came to think that you could never overcome it and move forward?

What about our spiritual growth? Where do we receive life-changing feedback letting us know we are on the right track toward the spiritual goals we have set ourselves as individuals or as groups of individuals or as entire churches?

It first comes from being able to hear input from others. It makes no use for others to speak the truth to us however compassionate it might be if we have shut ourselves off from believing that what they say to us might actually be good for us to hear. Most of the time, others have a pretty clear perception of who we are - particularly as they get to know us and interact with our lives.

This can lead to a life-giving mentoring (what I once would have called "counseling") relationship. If we're willing to hear an objective evaluation of our choices and actions and vision for our life then we can enter into an accountability relationship with someone we trust who can help us meet our spiritual goals. Perhaps you simply want to restructure your finances so that you have more peace in your life. Having someone to review your budget with you and help you to set financial goals would help you meet that aim. Perhaps you want to deepen your prayer life and are looking to hear God more clearly. Mark Virkler, in his workbook and seminar "Hearing God's Voice" recommends that you have three people that you choose to review your journal notes from your prayer time to help you know that it is indeed God's voice that you are hearing and not simply your own desires and thoughts. The key is to find someone with whom you can set goals and who will ask you regularly how well your efforts are going toward meeting those goals.

One of the best contexts for this kind of conversation is a small group. We've seen the effectiveness of AA groups for those who desired to break their addictive patterns. From what I've heard, sometimes an AA group can become pretty heated. A person in addiction doesn't always want to admit that they are "powerless" over their addiction. And so the people in the circle must "speak the truth" to the addicted person out of their knowledge and deep experience of how an addiction controls a person's life and how it's possible through help and a higher power to break the chains of that addiction. With the success of programs like AA, imagine the power of a small group of people - all of whom were seeking God and praying together - to be able to set common spiritual goals and challenge each other to grow in their level of service and commitment to God.

This Fall, several of our small groups at Promise Church are going to put the power of groups to the test as we discuss and challenge each other maintaining physical health (from a spiritual point of view). Not only am I excited to be participating in one of these groups, I'm anxious to hear back stories from different folks in the church about how they are creating healthier patterns of eating, exercising, and living! What I know from personal experience is that the healthier we are physically, the better our thinking is and the more energy we have to do the things that are truly meaningful to us.

We have, I believe, a scriptural responsibility to "speak the truth in love" to each other. Sometimes hearing that truth can be difficult (particularly when our choices haven't been the best ones) which makes it all the more important that we speak up and not avoid what we think might become conflict out of fear of how that truth will be received. But we are not building up the body of Christ unless we are willing to submit humbly to each other as "ligaments" of that body and engage each other's personalities, gifts, skills, and life experiences. Sometimes this can be kind of messy. But messiness is okay if our goal is unity in Christ and growth as a body.

Also speaking truth to each other is important so that we don't allow our resentments and bitterness build and turn into unhealthy gossip or avoidance behaviors. It takes courage to go to someone who has somehow hurt you and tell them that you you've been hurt. Likewise, it takes courage for someone who has hurt someone else to ask forgiveness. Allowing these hurts to fester in one's spirit does harm to the spirit, clouding our outlook and perception, and keeping us ultimately from being able to minister "in the Spirit."

The love part of "speaking the truth in love" comes with knowing that no matter what, I will always love you and not give up on you. That's the part people need to hear the most these days. That's the part churches need to PRACTICE most these days. While we encourage and challenge each other to step up in our faith, we are not going to become "dis"-couraged in the support we give. We are not simply going to lose faith with you and run away to some other group, some other church, some other place if or when the relationship becomes hard. That may go against the grain of our deeply patterned cultural thinking, but that's the way of Jesus. I can hear something hard and difficult (sometimes even harsh depending on choices I have made) that I need to hear if it is offered in love and compassion and is aligned with my goal to grow deeper in my faith. It is having the maturity to be able to speak the truth in love and have the truth in love spoken TO you that we move - as Paul says in Ephesians 4 - from spiritual infancy to adulthood.

It's the love to stick together through the simple times and the complex and difficult times that will ultimately set apart the followers of Jesus from the rest of the world. This same love is healing and attractive to those who want a better life than what the world offers. Aren't we blessed to serve a God who has said, "I will never leave you or forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5) Aren't we blessed to be a part of a community that reflects the character of God?

What's Your Story?

I’m a big movie buff. When Star Wars: Revenge of the Jedi came out in 1983, my friends and I stood in line one Friday morning for three hours to be the first in New Orleans to see the movie! My favorite movie is Patton – the epic film about the WWII general who was a bold commander but allowed his temper and loose tongue to be his downfall. I think what I loved most about that film was the fact that it was (and still is) my father’s favorite film and I can remember sitting in front of the TV with him watching the movie while he would add little “explanatory notes” about some of the major historical figures.

The cool thing about watching movies is that in a roughly two hour time span you are drawn into a compelling story. Because the medium of film involves our sight and sound we are made to feel like we are right in the middle of the drama or action or suspense as the case may be. We can’t wait to see if the hero gets the girl, if the sheriff nabs the bad guy, if the general wins the war, if the first term senator from a unnamed Western State survives the senate filibuster (Mr. Smith Goes to Washington), the 300 warriors of Sparta are able to resist the onslought of Xerxes million-man Persian army, or in the case of our faith story, if the people of God hold on to their promised land, or if Jesus truly rises from the grave like he told his disciples he would.

Our lives comprise a story. We may not think of our lives that way because we become so caught up in the day to day rush of events. But if we were to take some time to reflect on the “narrative direction” our lives have taken we would see that there was a plot, there are “plot complications”, character foils, twists and turns, times of moving forward and times of being setback. There are villains to be sure. But there are also a number of heroes without whose help the protagonist of our story wouldn’t be able to move forward and overcome the obstacles in his or her way.

We may be tempted – even as people of faith – to think that WE are the “protagonist” of our narratives. But we’re not. I love New Testament scholar Ben Witherington’s observation on the “story” of Acts. He observes in his commentary on Acts that neither Peter nor Paul are the protagonists of the story. It’s the Holy Spirit who from chapter one of the twenty-eight chapter book stands center stage.

That blew me away when I read it. Luke, who wrote Acts, was telling a story where the Holy Spirit was the main character and everyone else were players.

When I think of my own life, I’m struck by how often “I” place and have placed myself at the center of things. Success or failure were all judged by how it affected “me.” Frustration or overcoming were measured by MY agenda of where I supposed I was heading and where I imagined “I” would one day be. To be honest, it’s a hard way to live. If I were to critically read my life’s narrative I couldn’t help but walk away disappointed – there have been too many mistakes made, too much lack of integrity, too much failure, too many hurt and damaged relationships.

But imagine a different way of reading one’s story – one where the Holy Spirit is the main actor on stage and your life is the context through which the Holy Spirit acts and speaks and lives and influences. When read from this perspective, we see that our lives are a work in progress. The final chapter hasn’t been written. And like the book of Acts which ends with Paul in Rome under house arrest awaiting his meeting with the emperor, we are left anxiously awaiting the “next chapter.” Just what, we ask, is the Holy Spirit going to do next?

Now lest you balk at my treatment of our own personal responsibility for the direction and “story” of our own lives, consider this quote from Paul.

Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

What would the movie of your life look like with the Holy Spirit as the main character?

When someone asks us about why we go to church or why we believe in Jesus, all that we have to respond with is our story. That’s what the hope we have to offer. Simply put – “if God can be at work for healing and salvation in MY life – He will do the same for you.” And that’s good news, isn’t it.

1 Peter 3:15 But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.